January 2009
75 posts
Goodnight 2008. Good luck 2009.
December 2008
75 posts
All I gotta say is that least someone is getting something from Dane Cook.
NYE PLANS: Four McRibs and a jumbo sack of Funyuns. Some call it the “McFun.” You throw in some Crown Royal and I call it “Hobo’s Delight.”
Either I have an ear infection or someone in the next cubicle is eating pop rocks.
Rectified? It nearly killedified!
Am I the only one concerned that it suddenly smells like cheap pink pump soap from a women’s restroom of a Loves Truck Stop in here?
Employee of the Year →
Like monuments to the great Chicago fire, this guy should be memorialized in the station for all time. How about his name on a water fountain? At minimum give the trooper some…
Live kitty, live! →
This is why I love England. When Buckingham and I went on holiday to London (see how I did that? yeah, that’s right, I am hip to the local vernacular), I spend so long waiting to get into…
The Women: Battlefield Earth of chick flicks.
QUESTION: Is it socially acceptable to punch a baby if the baby is really an eighty-year-old man? ANSWER: Emily Post Institute says yes.
“Study: Teenage ‘virginity pledges’ are ineffective.” Damn those nerds of Lambda Lambda Lambda. DAMN THEM! http://ping.fm/87fOW
Luckily it’s casual day at work. I don’t think I have any clean business sweat pants.
Finally awoken from my holiday slumber. What did I miss? Who shot JR?
Yes, you too can learn to yodel at the International Playboy School of Morrissey.
LAST MINUTE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING FOR @BUCKINGHAM: Gift certificate for an IMDB resume, pack of six hobo steaks, and/or a restraining order?
Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!
TODAY’S COMMUNITY SERVICE MOMENT (2 OF 2): Lonely Man - http://letmegooglethatforyou.com/?q=knut
TODAY’S COMMUNITY SERVICE MOMENT (1 OF 2): Lonely Man, meet the Internet. Internet, Lonely Man. http://ping.fm/imro6
TOP 5 CHRISTMAS MOVIES: Die Hard, Christmas Story, Die Hard, Scrooged, Die Hard.
Hey Gramps, if you’re planning on sending me all 300 of those photos in a flipbook, keep snapping away. Otherwise, enjoy the play. Love, me.
I’m putting the smax in xmas.
“CHRISTMAS AROUND THE WORLD” COMPANY POTLUCK: Sausages, from vienna - http://ping.fm/E32xf
Favrd! →
Favrd. *sigh* The cock that every twitterer loves to rock. I have never received a twitter notification directly from favrdbot, so I thought I might capture the moment in screenshots….
Yo self, you gots such a severe case of cryptoamnesia, you be ripping your self off. Peace, me.
“Hey, HR lady…” *hands over badge* “Can I get a new badge? This one just fell into the toilet.”
If my Red Bull consumption causes all my teeth to fall out, I am getting Britney Spears teeth for replacements. Thems perdy chompers.
Someone over there at Chuck has a real hard on for Die Hard. I’m in love.
Hobo Steaks →
jantzie: are you wearing a christmas sweater tomorow?
shmantz: no
shmantz: that doesn’t really seem like something I would do
jantzie: that’s why you should do it
shmantz: think so?
jantzie:…
“Oh, hell no!” #genericwillsmith
Can I take a Hillshire Farms Yard-O-Beef as carry on or is it considered a weapon? (PS this is not a euphemism)
George Bush Shoe Video →
Yowzers! I think we can all agree that Condoleezza Rice is definitely the Secretary of Sexy.
“Who throws a shoe? Honestly!” - GWB http://ping.fm/HY6U3
PENIS BROKEN AT BEST BUY (SFW): http://ping.fm/6IAAu
First world problem: Two and a Half Men.
B.C. Clark →
It’s not officially Christmas in Oklahoma until you hear this jingle. Ah, the memories.
Mr. Spriggs BBQ →
WOW. If I went to Mr. Spriggs and they weren’t playing this on continuous loop, I would demand my money back. Oh, and a jimmy hat and two wet naps.
Do you love BBQ? Do you love sexytime? Wouldn’t you love to combine the two? http://ping.fm/mwR0Q
I wish I could go into a coma tomorrow, wake up in 20 years and ask, “who shot JR?” That would make for a really great Friday.
I would call in gay today but twice in one week is a bit suspect.
I would call in gay today but twice is one week is a bit suspect.
I would have called in gay today but twice is one week is a bit suspect.
I wish I was funny. Not “freelance funny,” but “professional funny.”
A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS: Puppies, rainbows, cookies, photos in magazines of safari browser screenshots with naughty tabs open.
The Archive →
The Archive from Sean Dunne on Vimeo.
I have exactly $22… anyone want to pitch in with me?
PHASE ONE OF BEA ARTHUR METAMORPHOSIS COMPLETE: Wear gray suede loafers to work ☑
Tivo + Streaming Netflix = Tears of Joy and Red Bull from @jantzie
Come on Chuck, we know you wanted to say Nakatomi Plaza, not Nakamichi Plaza! “Happy trails, Hans.”
I remember a time where you mentioned Favrd and people would say, “what about Brett Favre?”