December 2009
29 posts
MEMO TO TUMBLR.
In an attempt to use 2010 to aggregate my online life, I’ll no longer be posting here. Google me elsewhere. Over and out.
Dear Rod Stewart: Have I told you lately that I hate you? Love, me.
Broadcasting LIVE @stereohambone with @donjeem and @jantzie on @utahfm (@ Utah Free Media Studio) http://4sq.com/4pAr7V
Sherlock Holmes: An obviously gay love story.
I hope Santa brings me the Luke Skywalker Buckteeth Kit I asked for. I’ve been ever so good!
Someone left a little present on my windshield—a $50 ticket. Merry effing Christmas!
Overheard: “This sounds like porno Christmas music.”
Oklahoma: Texas’ Top Hat
Jambi says, “Mekka Lekka Hi Mele Kalikimaka!”
I laughed out loud when I fell on the ice. Finally, a taste of my own medicine.
Him: “If you love @peeweeherman so much why don’t you marry him?” Me: “OKAY!”
I love ham cigars!
I’m at Area 51 getting my goth on. End transmission.
You sure have big ol’ bocce balls in them there britches.
Why yes, @b9n, I *am* having my own private rave.
My grandma sure loved herself some Oral Roberts.
Happy first day of Chewbacca!
Sure, they make mittens for feet, they’re called socks. Jackass.
Florida lost their quidditch match because Tim Tebow got his broomstick snapped off.
So you’re not on your way to an ugly holiday sweater party? Whoops, sorry about that.
“Palin don’t hurt.” - Dalton (Cooler/Republican)
Get it? Mistletoe? CAMELTOE? Meh, forget it.
Is that mistletoe or are you just happy to see me?
I left all my good jokes in my other pants.
I’m sitting really close to the HeatDish, whispering sweet nothings into it. Just in case someone out there is listening, like on Contact.
AND WHY IS THE CARPET ALL WET, TODD?!
The dentist office: Where 90s Top 40 music goes to die.